Thursday, February 16, 2006

MetroFlu

Yesterday, I decided that consistantly riding the metro city bus is the equivalent of a flu shot. Think about it.

First of all the folks who ride the bus are typically second-class citizens, who on average probably carry around more germs with them on an everyday basis than car drivers. They then pack closely together and spread their germs all over the seats, railings, and air.

Then you get on the bus and slide your hand down the entire railing, sit where twelve other people have sat just today, and inhale the recycled breath of everybody else who has ridden.

There is no germ that doesn't make it 's way onto the bus. Your immune system overtime exposes and strengthens itself to diseases scientists have yet to identify. In short, you become the most prepared body for any virus nature can throw at you.

So take the bus, and when some dirty looking man boards in front of Good Sam Hospital, and begins coughing violently, and even needs to spit something into a worn out old paper towel. Go over, sit next to him and take a deep breath. Soon you'll be laughing in the face of the bird flu.

* not recommended for people with cancer, reperators, or yo mama. side effects include lower self esteem, a general increase of annoyance, and ultimately death.