Stepping Out of the Kiddie Pool:
Monday, May 02, 2005

Today I woke up with one of those, “I need to grow up a little bit” attitudes. It’s time to really step up to the plate and live like an adult. No more excuses to myself, nor to anyone else. If I want to create some type of immediate family - which I do - it’s time to prepare for one. I would like to embrace the true meaning of carpe diem, which is “seize the day”. Not my meaning which has morphed to, “fuck it, I’m playing hoop with you guys instead of going to class”.
My academic progress is controlled by one thing...my lazy ass. I enjoy thinking aloud that I take less classes in order to ensure that I’m not overwhelmed, and achieve higher marks because of this. But if anything I’ve become underwhelmed in my studies. I do well without trying, which is obviously comfortable. But what lesson do I learn from success that comes easily? I’ve become a ridiculous procrastinator often times turning in decent work instead of well thought out, organized work. My time management is bad, my study skills worse, I’m less than punctual, and rarely appear in control of much responsibility. I have vast potential to blow this Earth out of the water, but have yet to muster enough courage to tap into that potential.
It starts with the small stuff. Wake up!!! Dreaming is cool but it accomplishes little. At night, ask yourself, “Self. Is watching the fourth quarter of a thirteen point game in the first round of the NBA playoffs worth sacrificing a shower tomorrow morning for”? My mind usually counters with, “what if I miss an amazing buzzer-beating comeback win”? But the more sensible question would be, “what if I miss the number seventeen bus, and miss the review for an accounting three test, which I fail and get a ‘C’ for the term”? A healthy, young, strapping buck like myself, probably doesn’t need eight hours of dreamy bliss every damn night. Drink more water, and get ya ass outta bed! (Any advice can be accompanied with drink more water).
General consideration for others is another quality which needs constant attention. I’ve become selfishly numb of friends/family/strangers feelings, which can build, quickly sometimes, into a volcanic eruption. Thinking even more before reacting might be a good practice when interacting with people.
Time management. Whoa... that’s a biggie. Let’s face it, I’ve got a shit load of time. Admittedly, much of that is wasted on ...um...forgettable activities that I’ll wished I’d stayed away from when I’m dying. I don’t want to live with much regret of the ways I’ve spent my time. So the challenge here is discovering the fine line of enjoying life to the fullest, while handling moral responsibilities. I need to get tougher with the latter, or I’ll never truly experience the former. Realistic planning and goal setting, then sticking to it, is the recipe to successful time management. I know it, so why do I not execute it? Laziness, weakness to temptation, selfishness to do what I want. Whack!
Let’s watch me gain some positive momentum into a crucial stretch in my life. Pound out school, acquire some more financial stability, provide more diligently for Mojo, help out more, watch TV less (including sports), read, don’t forget about God, finish your story then write others, think about my future and how I want it to be. Also, the whole relying on other people for major logistic support, has grown tiresome for myself and all involved (you know who you are). If it can’t be done without the assistance of friends/family than find another way dammit. I need to suck it up and stop being “that guy”. The next few will be the window years. I better at least be able to look through as many as possible. Play time’s not over, it’s just gotz to chill.
Mojokong the Contemplative